i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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