i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Randomize
