I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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