glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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