I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Randomize
