He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
