how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
