you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Shame - the story of my life.
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