You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize