There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Randomize
