Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
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