it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
