So drunk its hurt
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
i wish my penis had a tongue
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
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