Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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