I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Randomize
