If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
