i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
