why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
