Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
My ATM looks so different sober.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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