Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
