in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Randomize
