Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
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