it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
