He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
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