she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
I forget how to act sober
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
