My room smells like vodka and shame
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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