No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Randomize
