we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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