You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
