you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
