Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Randomize
