Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
