where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Randomize
