I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
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