I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
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