Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
she was so not down for the gang bang
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
