Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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