i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
