Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
It's official drugs can't kill me
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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