trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
