yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize
