I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
