Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
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