You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Randomize
