hell yes lets make some ravioli
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
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