I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
