So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
