She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
You're like the curious george of whores
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
