They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
You're a waste of cheezeits
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
