I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
