in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
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