are you so shy because you have an std?
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
