You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
