Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
Randomize
