Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
